HPPH's porridge recipe book

Proud porridge cooks travel from as far as Australia to compete in The Golden Spurtle and the documentary is an absolute delight. It’s an excellent reminder to cherish the morning ritual of porridge-making and other small things that you might forget to pay attention to in life. It’s a reminder to pursue your passions, no matter how niche. And it’s a reminder to have a good time and be lovely like all the people in the film are. Even the washer-uppers value their work and have been volunteering their time in the competition for as long as 20 years.

So, at this cold time of year when porridge is more needed than ever, we thought it would be nice to share some of our team’s porridge secrets with you to improve your winter mornings. None of us are purists when it comes to porridge, so don’t tell on us to the great people of The Golden Spurtle competition for deviating from the traditional oats, water and salt! But we hope you enjoy these recipes all the same…

Projectionist Matt’s Daily Porridge

Here's my porridge recipe, which I've enjoyed nearly every morning for over a decade as the best way to start my day. It's for the lactose intolerant and works just as well for Celiac if you use gluten-free oats as well. This makes one serving, but doubles or quadruples nicely:

• One cup of oats
•  One and a half cups of unsweetened soya milk
• A quarter cup of water, maybe a little bit more if you're adding a lot of dry fruit and seeds
• A small pinch of salt (this brings out the flavour by opening sodium channels on the tongue, it helps you taste the oats, you shouldn't taste the salt at all)

Then I add a very small amount (because I add a lot of different things) of any or all of the following, depending on what is in the kitchen:

Seeds:

• Sunflower seeds
• Linseed
• Poppy seed
• Pumpkin seed
• Sesame seed

Dried fruit:

• Sultanas
• Currants
• Chopped dates

And fresh from the garden, depending on the season:

• Blackberries - makes the porridge purple!
• Gooseberries
• Redcurrants
• Blackcurrants
• Strawberries
•  Raspberries
• Blueberries
• Stoned and chopped cherries

Add everything to a pan on the lowest heat and stir frequently to avoid sticking. It will take about 10 minutes, so I do some internet stuff like check emails on my phone while I stir, and towards the end I'll set up my cup of tea. Now here's the secret: if I stop too soon, the oats will be undercooked and repeat on me, and if I leave it too long, the porridge will be stodgy and overcooked instead of creamy and delicious. Fortunately, nature gives us a sign to look for, a bubble which I call "the Bloop". Stop stirring for 20 seconds and see if it bloops. If not, keep stirring. If it does form a dome and then slowly releases a bubble - the bloop - then it's on the verge of boiling, the oats are cooked and the consistency is perfect. Turn the heat off, serve into a bowl, add between a teaspoon and a tablespoon of local runny honey to taste, finish making that cup of tea while it cools a bit, and enjoy Pinder’s perfect porridge.

Marketing Martha’s Seasonal Porridge

Two of my greatest prides in life are my porridge and boiled eggs – simple things which, after years of practice, I’ve finally perfected to a point where I thought they were competition-worthy. That was until I watched The Golden Spurtle and realised I’d be laughed out of Scotland for my untraditional, obscene amount of dairy. But if you’re a rule-breaker, you might enjoy my porridge too.

My recipe makes one hearty bowl or two small bowls.

For the porridge itself, I use 50g rolled oats and 300ml milk. I add both to a pan and put it on the biggest hob, set to the lowest heat. I stir with a wooden spoon or, much to my ex’s horror, a silicone spatula. The Golden Spurtle has definitely made me want to invest in a spurtle! Another thing that horrified my ex in my porridge-making was that at this early stage in the porridge’s creation, I would wander off to the living room to open the curtains and set up my computer for the day. However, that’s an essential part of the recipe because impatience is the enemy of great porridge. If you can hear the oats as you bite into them, you know something’s gone horribly wrong. You need to let it work its magic in the early stages. Only once it starts to thicken, then it’s time for more attentive stirring. As Matt wonderfully describes, you know your porridge is telling you it’s almost breakfast time when it starts speaking to you in ‘bloops’. One of the most satisfying noises!

Two of my favourite seasons of the year are rhubarb season and pumpkin season. Living in the Rhubarb Triangle, we’re especially lucky to get excellent rhubarb! So, in rhubarb season, I like to make rhubarb compote, which I then stir into my porridge until there’s a hint of pink. And in pumpkin season, I usually make lots of pumpkin puree for pumpkin pie, soup and cake. So, when I’ve got leftovers, I stir a generous spoonful into my porridge along with a sprinkling of pumpkin spice mix to taste. I pre-make a batch of pumpkin spice and keep it in a spice jar throughout the season. For me, the ratios are: 3 tbsp cinnamon, 2 tsp ginger, 2 tsp nutmeg, 1.5 tsp allspice, 1.5 tsp cloves and a pinch of black pepper.

At other less exciting times of year, my go-to toppings are either raisins and brown sugar or banana, honey and cinnamon, which is the essential option when ill. And if I’m feeling extra extravagant, I’ll melt a couple of squares of dark chocolate into my porridge from the start of cooking and then slice a banana on top.

Venue Coordinator Alice’s Porridge

Oats 

Oat milk - ideally Minor Figures (not just because it’s our preferred oat milk) or Moma brand.

Organic honey – Herd & Hive is my favourite, made by bees in Otley and the surrounding areas. 

Fresh raspberries or strawberries.

Maybe a sprinkle of cinnamon if I’m feeling fancy. 

Volunteer Helen’s Dream Porridge

The best porridge I’ve ever had was served to me in a cafe in Lincoln. It was almost a desert, really, and consisted of rather a lot of ingredients.

This photo gives you the idea:

Basically, half the bowl was nutty granola and half was creamy porridge. This was drizzled with honey then topped with some sliced banana, strawberries, raspberries & blueberries (frozen berries might be more convenient). Finally, plain chocolate was grated over the top… It even had a fresh (edible) miniature pansy flower as garnish!

Have fun with your spurtle!

Tonight's screening of The Golden Spurtle has sold out, but you can come to our Bring Your Own Baby screening on Wed 17 Dec at 11:00 or a standard screening on Tue 23 Dec at 18:00. Find out more and book here. For our screenings of The Golden Spurtle on Tue 16 & Tue 23 Dec, there will also be a 7-min recorded Q&A , a conversation between director Constantine Costi and Spurtle legend Charlie Phillips.